hi again.

first i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who contacted me in one way or another after my last post, your concern and love means so much to me. i keep feeling like perhaps i was too dramatic (even though i tried not to be) and i've almost deleted it a few times out of discomfort of people knowing i don't have feelings of steel and that sometimes i let things get to me but it is good to feel vulnerable sometimes. it keeps me humble :) ..with that being said i just want everyone who was concerned to know that i really am fine! the last two days have actually been really good. yesterday i was with nice church friends for the better part of the day and today two of my roommates and i went and did some things together. it has felt different since i wrote that post, perhaps it is the whole attitude change thing? who knows. but i'm sure anyone who read my mission emails or have listened to any dramatic story i've ever told knows - i'm pretty good at making a big deal over things that eventually blow over. so without further ado, let's talk about something else! 

as i've already mentioned, a week ago today i moved out of my first sublet. before leaving we all watched a few episodes of law and order svu together which mary (you remember my new friend mary right?) actually suggested we do. i think she just knew suggesting it would thrill me to no end, which it did. it was a great way to end our roommateship haha. after our mini marathon grace and dave helped me move to my new place (which i have no idea how i would have done without them! they are definitely my boston angels).

as i walked up the stairs that night i stopped to admire this family picture on their wall and then something caught my eye:

anyone recognize that pretty lady on the right? i know who she is from her "i'm a mormon" video but some of you might know her as the famous 71 toes blogger? after doing some simple research/creeping i figured out i am staying in her sister's house! it never ceases to amaze me how small this world is.

by the next morning i had everything put away and have never felt happier to have my own space and a place to put everything! i really thought i would just have to bum around other people's places and live out of my suitcases until march 1st, so finding this place to sublet was a serious tender mercy.

i even feel happy about the pictures of babies left on the walls and my make shift desk i am typing on at this very moment and the kitchen stool i'm using to sit on and the fact that i'm wearing a beanie and scarf because it is freezing haha. if you would have told me two months ago that i would be living in massachusetts and staying in a 7 year old's room and doing all the things i've been doing, i would have laughed at you. life is pretty unpredictable but i guess that is what makes it so nice.

..if you would like to see the rest of the house i found my roommates blog.
they made a post all about it here. 

hi.

                           

do you ever feel like talking to someone but no one in particular? maybe that is a cue for me to write in my journal but i feel like writing on my blog so i'm just going to tell you things about my life and then maybe how i feel about it okay? don't be weirded out.

it is 8:05 pm on saturday night. i am sitting at my makeshift desk in some rather comfy fleece pajama pants and my $1.50 red sweatshirt from guy's discount. my hair is still half wet from my shower and i probably should have blow dried it an hour ago. i'm listening to the bon iver station on pandora and i know i should be hip and get into spotify but it just feels hard. back to bon iver, i'm quite a fan of this station but sometimes i just wish he and others like him didn't slip in the f word here and there? i just don't really get why that has to happen and it catches me off guard every time. ..i might have to go back to florence and the machine station if they keep it up. 

anyway. so i mentioned living in a sublet situation for the next few weeks and it has been pretty good so far. i really like my room and it is so nice to have roommates yet have my own room, i always had a shared room in college so it is kind of a dream to be able to come in here and have a place that is just mine. i feel sad about the lighting in the room, it is kind of dim and depressing but morning time natural light rocks. the house is adorable and i've had to refrain multiple times from commenting on the house owner's blog to tell her how much i like living here. right now i'm living in malden which is like 7ish miles outside of the more central areas. i feel like in utah that would be fine but here it just feels like it is so far away. luckily, it is beautiful and i've already fallen in love with the city. another lucky thing is the rent. it is like half of what i will be paying come march so hopefully i will be making money by then and it won't feel as sad as it sounds in my head. 

i'm trying to do things that are more convenient to get to from out here (compared to where i will be living) so i've been researching fun things to do that are near the orange subway line (if that doesn't make sense to you go here and maybe the picture will help), which is the line i live closest to. in march i will live closer to the red line. anyway, i've also chosen to buy weekly public transportation passes which force me to go do things (since i've already paid for the next seven days) because i'm easily motivated by the desire to not waste money. i thought maybe i would hate not having a car but every time i'm in a car with someone they can't find parking or are sad they have to pay for parking and getting places just takes forever so i actually feel like flying out instead of driving was a good choice. i never thought i'd live in a place where the public transit is actually more convenient! it has been a fun and interesting transition.

since i am outside a lot i have gotten really good at bundling up and justifying any purchase of cold weather accessories. i do realize that starting march the weather should be getting warmer so i have exercised more self control and have not bought everything in sight even though i'm very tempted to. i bought a down coat before coming out here and i'm still trying to not feel like a grandma when i wear it. today is the first day i actually wore it all day and even though i do feel like a grandma or even a ginormous marshmallow, it feels like a dream. when i was on the subway i just felt like i was wrapped up in a down comforter and i could have gone to sleep right then and there. but back to winter accessories, i'm getting really bored with everything so i've just started making really awful/loud combinations like the one above. 

since being in boston i've been by myself a lot. the first two weeks was just because i was usually the only one home but this past week is a different story. my new roommates are nice. three of them are 20 and just came out together for a six month adventure and the other one is 26 and is finishing up her masters at one of the many schools around here. for some reason they all get along fabulously and all hang out with each other in the family room and i end up staying in my room by myself haha. i can't quite figure out if i just keep to myself and so it seems like i'm disinterested in their friendship or if they just don't particularly care for me and i sense that so i just keep to myself. multiple times this week i've told them my interest in going places with them and we talk about doing things but then the house will get really quiet and i'll realize they left without saying anything haha. so the first few days i kept putting myself out there and being like "okay when you figure out what you are doing today let me know! i'm definitely interested in joining you!" but i think i've decided to stop trying to include myself because whether they do it without realizing it or on purpose i just keep getting my feelings hurt! like this morning i woke up to all four of them getting ready really early so i went to see what was going on and found them all getting ready to go to a renaissance market in new hampshire or something and were completely decked out in renaissance attire. first of all, what?! and second of all, why was i not invited?!  to see everyone dressed up like that would have been such a treeeeaaat.  but jokes aside, really why was it not even mentioned to me? i felt bad that everyone in my house planned to have this little day trip and didn't even think to (or maybe they did and just didn't want to?) invite me. so i told them to have a nice time and then laid back down and started CRYING. i felt like i was 14 again but really. i just felt really dumb and i'm not used to living in an environment like that so i guess this week has just caught me off guard. 

i've always had roommates who do anything and everything with every roommate (that is available to join) so i think it has just been an adjustment to not be in the roommate club? i don't even know. and i wasn't even going to write about this because hello! crying over not getting invited to a renaissance market is possibly the most embarrassing thing of my life but in all honesty i think we have all felt like that at one point or another and it isn't about what activity it is it but rather it is the principle of it. i don't even care about renaissance markets and i'm actually rather indifferent about these girls. my feelings were not hurt because i want to be their best friend, they are hurt because i feel unnecessarily excluded. we all want to be liked and included and sometimes people just aren't considerate or even think to be which makes absolutely no sense to me but whatever. i think being new in an area just magnifies those feelings as well. if this incident would have happened in provo i wouldn't have cared at all, but for some reason since i'm out in boston without any family and very few friends - having roommates (or it could be girls in the ward/neighborhood/whatever) that don't care to include me or really get to know me is a sad thing. 

but i will say, it is nice to have experiences like that because a. it makes you more grateful for people who are considerate and kind (and who like you haha) and b. it forces you to really choose your attitude and how you feel about the situation as a whole. this morning i could have just felt upset at my roommates, went back to bed, and laid around all day. instead i decided to get up and make a plan for the day of nice things to do so it didn't ruin my saturday.  so even though i was still kind of bummed i did some things i needed to get done and then headed out earlier than i usually am awake! (i've sucked at the whole early to bed early to rise thing these days but i'm getting better) i spent the entire morning and afternoon walking around boston's north end seeing lots of nice things and felt very satisfied with all the sights i saw. it gets dark so early here so i wanted to walk back before it was too dark. i got home around five and then showered, uploaded pictures from the past week, and started blogging - which brings us back to the beginning of this post. i have not stepped out of my room since my roommates got home and to be quite honest i will probably continue to keep to myself and continue to have solo adventures and that is okay. i thought it would be nice to have some company but i rather like going places by myself. i only hate it when it gets late and every episode of law and order svu haunts my thoughts haha. a time will come in my life when i can't just go where i want when i want and having time alone will become a rarity. i already know my life in boston won't be long so i need to make the most of it and make every day worth remembering.

so..thanks for having this heart to heart with me. sometimes it just feels nice to be honest you know? 

doing things with a real life friend that i met in boston deserves it's own post.

last friday i had a real life friend that wasn't grace or dave!

(i really like friendship time with grace and dave and do consider them real friends too btw)

fun roommate for two weeks kelly had a friend come stay with us named mary. mary, like myself, had nothing to do during the day (because i guess some people work? it's weird) so i offered to take her to the places i had already been to and liked. 

before heading out she made breakfast and i drank apple cider. it was really nice. 

when we got off the subway jet-pack starbucks friends were ready and willing to give everyone free samples of coffee! i was so thrilled for mary that i had to document the entire three second event. 

we were about to take a tour at the trinity church but then realized it was such a nice day outside so instead i just took this picture in the gift shop and then left. look at the episcopalians having a sense of humor!

i really liked these

and this bird man that caught my eye while taking the picture above! 

it was like a real life bird show. they were all synchronized and would fly away together and then come back to him. bird whisperer perhaps? man i liked that! 

one of the many beautiful churches around here 

and one of many statues that i'm starting to become obsessed with. they are really just everywhere!

p.s. this is the one and only day there will be pictures of me that weren't taken with my own outstretched hand so this is a really big deal.

famous people! 

what is not to love about these men? one on the right came up and just started chatting away about how sir henry was the first governor and was beheaded and lucky for mitt romney that that doesn't happen anymore..then he kind of just disappeared and we never saw him again. i felt like we had our very own mr. tumnus for a minute.

once again i was obsessed with the lions

and the biggest fireplace in the world!

(i'm just making that up. it could easily be or not be true)

still like

people really are so studious here. and i think i would be to if i lived here. oh wait..

next mr. tumnus experience = THIS guy. just comes out of no where and starts telling us all the things we should actually be taking pictures of and takes us to the uncomfortable part of the library with all of the topless women riding horses mural on the ceiling haha. 

the library actually has a public bathroom which i never thought would be so thrilling but it really is. everyone HATES having public bathrooms in this city. 

after the library we decided to try and find the prudential center and then newbury street and along the way we passed the first church of Christ scientist church. i don't know how else to word that without it sounding ridiculous. but isn't it pretty? i really like this one a lot. 

since mary and kelly are catholic i've learned a lot about that church since i've been here! while i still lived with kelly we had some really nice religious discussions and i learned all about saints and how someone can become one. did you know that mother teresa is next in line to become one? i guess even if you didn't it isn't really a shocker but they are just waiting on a miracle to happen and then blam! she will be a saint. it is actually really interesting so i was thrilled to find st. botolph street and realize that he must be pretty cool to be a real life (deceased) saint. 

we finally made it to newbury street and i hated everything in forever 21 so i made mary take even more mirror pictures and not even in the same mirror most times. a nice friend and a good sport! win win

i needed to get back to the church to meet with the missionaries and their chinese investigator so our dreams of shopping on newbury street kind of died (perhaps we got lost a few times?) so we headed back to the subway. 

and this happened. it was the last one, promise. and it might be my favorite one. 

on the way to the church i saw this cute baby

and my little cemetary

a small amount of snow

and this/these building/buildings that i can't ever stop loving

and then i made it without even getting lost!

and that was last friday afternoon with my friend mary. if you want to come be my friend we can go on fun adventures too! okay see you soon in boston bye!

i like america and america likes me.

now that we have that clear, let's move on.

 last tuesday grace and i went to the boston athenaeum for a tour. plus side of the tour = it is the only way to get inside the building if you are not a member. we saw beautiful rooms and a third of george washington's personal library and a million books and even a bust statue of satan. down side of the tour = they did not allow pictures and the tour guide, bless his heart, was uber boring.   

i love how the city still has christmas lights everywhere and i especially liked it this night with the snow/rain and reflection in all the puddles. 

i forget all the time that i have multiple ways of communicating with people and rarely ever skype or use face time but this day i did! it was fun to see all my arizona girls and brother. 

wednesday afternoon = chiiiiina town

as soon as i got there i was overwhelmed with familiarity. the smells, the produce, the sounds, the chinese people and language everywhere. it was wonderful.

 the first bread shop i went into took me right back to my mission. it looked identical to the bread shops that were all over taiwan and i immediately started scanning each type of bread to find the bread i was obsessed with my first few transfers (this bread just might correlate with getting chubbier during that time). bnotd, i found it! i hadn't eaten that "crisp sweet butter bun" (as it is apparently called in english) for two years. two years!! to make this moment even better i realized this was a taiwanese bakery and i had a lovely conversation with a taiwanese woman. as i was leaving i could hear her telling the other women that i had been a missionary and them saying how they couldn't believe how good my chinese was. for the record my chinese is not that good, they are just the sweetest and most complimentary people. i miss their kindness. 

 i loved seeing all of the jade jewelry, random asian trinkets, beautiful scrolls, and idols. 

 i also loved making a new friend in the frozen food section of the grocery store. she is from hong kong and i loved talking to her and being in everyones way for 20 minutes. aaand i liked being the only non-asian person in the place. it felt just like old times. 

 one new attraction at harvard would be this baby ice rink they decided to make. really, it is tiny. i liked everything about it but appreciated them blasting justin bieber music most. 

 dave goes to scouts wednesday nights so grace ate some weird costco meal while i played it safe and had some leftovers. we spent the night chatting and watching things i think? i don't really remember but i enjoy grace's company and feel really happy she lives here. 

thursday morning i went to check out where i would be living the next 6 weeks. the place i will be permanently isn't available till march 1st so finding a place to sublet for six weeks with other lds girls was nothing short of a miracle. the only sad part is that it is kind of far away and maybe you can tell by how many people were left on the subway by the time we got to my stop? 

 i started feeling kind of nervous about this living far away thing (far meaning like 30 minutes outside of cambridge) but seeing this sign made me so happy that i didn't even care anymore. who could pass up living in a neighborhood with elderly crossing signs? not this girl. 

almost every time i've gone on the subway thus far i have had this view. pretty isn't it? 

once again i was alone. maybe the subway was having an off day?

two things i will never get sick of. christmas wreaths still up and statues of men everywhere.

thursday night i got to go to the boston temple! guys. you have to go there, it is so pretty! when i walked into the celestial room my jaw dropped. not even kidding. 

 friday morning will be a blog post of it's own because this post was getting really long. friday night i went to dinner with grace and dave to the friendly toast. all the hipsters raved about it on yelp and my roommate loved it so we went to see what all the fuss was about. i just got french toast because everything i wanted was too spicy and there were too many choices to find something else. it was good frech toast, but i felt like a cop out.

probably my favorite mural i've seen yet

 after going to every red box in cambridge to rent moneyball, i opted out on movie night and decided to just go home because i wasn't feeling well. i could feel myself getting sick and since it began snowing i decided to just take it easy to help my body fight off whatever was happening inside of it. the next 24 hours were spent listening to jb pandora station while simultaneously playing temple run (for the record i am NOT a gamer, this is the only game on my phone, and brynne already knows i blame her completely for getting me to download it). 

aaaand having a law and order svu marathon. i used to be repulsed by this show but somehow i now can't get enough of it. i mean it still makes me sick sometimes and i feel stressed to turn the lights off at night and feel super paranoid but i just have to know who the perp is and how they figure it out!!! law and order, temple run, i went to trader joes yesterday, what is next? hi! i'm megan. i end up liking all the things i judge other people for liking and i'm a hypocrite. 

anyway. mid marathon my mission friend allison came over! you know you have found yourself a good friend when you tell them you are watching law and order svu while resting all day and they ask if they can join you. 

sunday morning was my time to not actually live in that place anymore. my two weeks were up! i was really sad about this because i loved the apartment, location, and roommate kelly. 

 but i got everything out of there before heading to church to be kind to the girl who actually lives there. it was really nice of her to sublet it to me, i don't think i would have come to boston so quickly otherwise. and here is a brightside, i felt a lot better on sunday! 24 hour lazy fest worked like a charm.

 i was happy to see the snow actually stayed around for awhile

 and to find a shortcut to church! 

 i have nothing to say about these but felt compelled to put them in this post

 look at these two new friends! you can tell from their expressions that they are a treat. we sat and talked sunday evening for awhile and i feel so grateful that i've already met really wonderful people who i actually really like being around. maybe it is just me but at times that feels hard to come by.

grace and dave were nice and invited me to dinner and then i got the pleasure of watching dave try to fly his helicopter while all of us felt so stressed for the fragile thing the whole time. 

THEN

 grace talked me into making this little bootie and i really did it! i didn't do it correctly (hence the improv baby x's over the top) but i actually kind of like how it turned out and was proud to actually get through one. yes, i said one. maybe i'll do the other one another day, i didn't want to out do myself!

and to end the week with a bang old friend luke and new friend/wife julie stopped by! behind our fake smiles is genuine happiness for this joyous friendship reunion. 

and in closing let's all remember that one time the building across from the church had snow on the ground and berries on the tree and it looked magical. okay bye!