work.school.narnia.mish.

so, i just did the most retarded thing ever. well actually, i think something like this happens at least once a week. i'm chatting with like 5 to 10 people at a time so it is usually pretty fast and i'm only half paying attention so i often write things like this..

i hope from that he got that it was supposed to say "i can do my best" and not that doing my friends = best. oh no.

retarded? yes. last time it will happen? no.

good news of the day is i'm done with finals!

it should probably feel like this..

but instead i kind of feel like this-

because i have no idea what i'm going to do after i graduate but whatev. i still have a good 5 months before i need to really freak out about it. i should have actually graduated this semester but i wanted to take classes like photograpy and chinese and next semester i'm adding interior design to the mix (yessss) so i don't even feel bad.

anyway.

i forgot to say that last friday ryan and i went to see narnia 3.

it was AWESOME. i'm serious. i don't think it gets enough credit. i loved everything about it (i'm a sucker for mystical shows) and the symbolism just gets me so good everytime.

we can't stop talking about it,

you should go see it asap.

next thought.

today i worked for someone in the morning and saw a bunch of incoming missionaries. then when i came in tonight there were a ton on the floor i work on walking around getting a tour of where they are going to be for the next three months. ryan and i also looked through my mtc photos earlier today so i guess it has just been on my mind.

(note: i usually don't like to write much because lets be honest, i don't really read posts where people write tons but i feel like it so i won't feel bad if you have already stopped reading).

 but anyways, i've just been thinking about that whole time and how it felt and as i walked by all the missionaries today with the little orange dot (indicating it is their first day here) on their tag i couldn't help but relate to the somewhat awestruck look on their face.

this girl had no idea what the next year and a half held for her.

 i was just happy to be there. i had no idea how painful it would be to learn a language (especially a one without an alphabet) or be thrown in a completely different culture. no idea how timid and inferior i would feel. no idea how lonely it could become even though i was with a companion 24/7. no idea how much pain my body would be in from riding a bike all day and being mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhuasted. no idea how much it would hurt to see someone accept the gospel and then suddenly decide they wanted nothing to do with it. no idea how hard it would be to leave home but how much harder it would be to go back. at the same time this completely foreign place became my home. eventually i learned chinese and the gospel in a way i could teach others about it which gave me confidence in myself and the message i was sharing. eventually i really liked having a companion all the time and they became my family when i had no one else.  eventually my saddle sores went away (graphic? sorry) and i could go up a mountain without getting off my bike and walking or being winded. eventually i was still exhausted but i became mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually stronger. it still hurt for people to change their mind about the gospel but my perspective was a little different. i was so happy and so many impossibles became possible. i learned so much and have so many fond memories of my time there. it is a really beautiful process that hurt at the time but shaped me and helped me become what i wanted to be. that is the beauty of a mission and something that was hard for me to understand until i experienced it. 

so as i looked at these missionaries and felt their pain, i also felt so happy and excited for them for the journey they are about to embark on.