oh highschool.

maybe i started this like three months ago and just found it in my drafts..i'm assuming it never made it to an actual post because it is weird and kind of lame but i'm going to go ahead and post it anyway!

so, i haven't quite decided where i want to live so i moved home for a few weeks (which was now three months ago). this seemed like a good opportunity to clean out all my bins and boxes of hud i've collected over the years. I KEEP EVERYTHING. like seriously. every notebook, binder, etc. i just got to the box with my english 1010 binder from mrs. hansen's class. i worked so hard on that stupid binder i guess it seemed important to keep it for the last six years! as i looked through it i couldn't help but laugh as i read different comments on drafts of essays from brynne, leila mojabi (what ever happened to her?), emma, and matt park. i really wish i could still remember the things i learned from that class, i don't even think i remember how to write a paper anymore to be completely honest (thank you taiwan! sorry mrs. hansen).

i also found my math 1050 class binder with all my homework and tests in it. i guess i thought if i kept it i could remember all the things i learned? but after thumbing through it i realized i don't remember a dang thing and looking at it was as if it was a foreign language so i decided to toss it. but it brought back good memories of the friends i made in his classes - rocking out to c.w. mccall with chris sampson, talking to christine about our younger love interests (haha), and telling blakely how i thought zack golden was such a creep to me and then felt mortified when she started dating him that summer.
i feel like this paragraph is just one of the many gems those people who just look at pictures will miss out on.
here are some other really important things i kept:

multiple efy training manuals

(why?)

every uvu planner i ever used

why this was in a psychology binder i will never know

oh look! i even kept some pictures. this would be me and my bff of the time sunny bennett with creepy dazzle the clown at her birthday party. gosh i loved that shirt.

also worth noting: i was very into scrapbooking in my earlier years, as seen by this photo

i loved finding this picture of my sister tricia and i at hogle zoo! i wish i still had those wax animals.

and also this really kind note brynne hand-crafted for me

i mean those dresses are not drawn but are cut and pasted! that equals love.

oh and my "homemade" really thought out door tags for my efy girls.

 (i won't mention the fact that having it means she didn't like it enough to keep it haha) 

i know what you are thinking! you wish i had been your counselor!

and oh my gosh i'm sooooo glad i kept every single ugly folder i ever used!

seriously.

one of my more favorite things is trying to find the most hideous folders,

buying it, and then loving the reactions of everyone as i pulled them out and used them each day!

i need to figure out a reason to have folders in my life again.

oh and did you know i studied psychology? well. if you didn't here is a happy little glimpse into the topics of conversation in my classes. if you can't read them let me make it easy for you:

techniques of arousal, the debate on oral sex, abortion issues, sex and the senior citizen, adultery, the wonderful world of std's, and pornography just to name a few. uvu aint no byu! that is for surrrre.

another treasure.

(why oh why would i keep this?)

so there we have it folks. the heaviest bag full of my entire education.

just completely thrown away. in the recycling bin of course.

kind of symbolic don't you think?

last day of school! last day of school!

i was not good at taking pictures at uvu this year but i did take a few on my last days.

chinese final = so so so so so awful

guys, chinese is hard!

gender of psychology final = exact opposite

i mean this is how good me and my one school friend prego keesha felt about it

(really - she is my only one because she served a mission too, everyone else had that extra year and a half to move on haha)

we just sat around and talked about whatever and some random guy came in and made waffles for everyone. it was odd but done in classy uv fashion.

(just remembered that this was the other part of the gender final. drive all over town with dumb directions and the destination was stupid home depot. i was hoping it would be winco!)

(that is my photography teacher in the white shirt 

in case you were dying to know what he looked like)

photography final = hard and really time consuming but i felt proud of the results.

i have completely fallen in love with historic architecture.

i felt like this should be posted too. this mom in my class made all those treats (minus the few that are obviously store bought) and then photographed them! i stared at it for like five minutes.

not pictured: interior design final, learning memory and cognition final, aaaaaaaaand the blind guy smoking a pipe leaning against the library book return drop off. just one of the many missed photo opportunities at uvu this year. my camera is just not as capable of being sneaky creeping people like my old one! and for that we all suffer.

lately i struggle blogging.

i keep wanting to but then i remember i graduate next week and i just have lots and lots of things to do. 

but please know that i've thought about it, and that is what counts right?

..busy doing things like this chinese essay i turned in yesterday about the differences and similarities 

of chinese and western medicine. is it weird to you that those pictures are really a language? 
it still blows my mind.

I finish with everything on monday so maybe i will do a real blog then? 

if not, you can rest assured that i will at least think about it.

whoops that i haven't uploaded photos from my camera for three weeks.

just realized i haven't really posted much lately. maybe because it was all in my camera? here are some events i found on that little guy.

in order of their appearance on my memory card:

1. dinner with hayley michelle at zupas

luckiest part = free dessert day! we had no idea!

(which explains why there were so many people)

went with these gals to a mission friend's reception. 

all i've got to say is i'm glad there was cotton candy.

everything in this picture i love. 

jb (let's be honest - this cut out is inaccurate. i'm pretty sure he is like 5'4 and i am 5'5), mac, v-neck/leggings/toms combo that happen way too much at night time and of course, my pink walls.

whoever thought of that paint job combo was a GENIUS.

 family night with the frei's!

tanner gave the lesson and it was greaaat

she doesn't talk about it, but brynne is quite the domestic

and she is a great window wiper!

this picture means i don't hate going to my saturday 8 am class when it isn't dark outside

baby lauren got blessed!

she was so happy about it!

the other babies played in front of the church instead of going to primary.

whooooops

my nephews are the cutest

and my nieces - even though there was only one there at this time

maybe i took bieber to school!

(and maybe these guys wanted me to take a picture for them haha)

maybe he fit right in!

and maybe he was a huge hit!

 (aaaand i'm almost positive i got an A on my presentation)

when you get excited about spring, you have to get slurpees and go to the local home depot to pick out paint samples for your interior design project. 

who even knew disney had their own paint line?!

i was ticked about not going to california or vegas for spring break so i forced my roommate suzanne to go to my cabin with me this past weekend. 

ashley joined us a little later and this basically sums up our short time there. 

lots of laying, great lighting (dad you did great with those new lights!), music, and suzanne being mad at me for not putting wood in the fire or for looking through music too long.

and thanks to papa murphy's, we didn't starve. and also a big thanks to the movie "bedtime stories", i loved it way bad! and i didn't even know it existed.

and ps. have you guys ever put left over pizza on a frying pan or on a skillet? it makes it SO much better. you should really try it because i used to hate day old pizza because it is all soft and gross but now it is my favorite favorite thing.

and this was taken today on my way to school.

i feel sorry for the sucker who drives that thing.

okay thanks for joining me in memory card time! have a nice day!

work.school.narnia.mish.

so, i just did the most retarded thing ever. well actually, i think something like this happens at least once a week. i'm chatting with like 5 to 10 people at a time so it is usually pretty fast and i'm only half paying attention so i often write things like this..

i hope from that he got that it was supposed to say "i can do my best" and not that doing my friends = best. oh no.

retarded? yes. last time it will happen? no.

good news of the day is i'm done with finals!

it should probably feel like this..

but instead i kind of feel like this-

because i have no idea what i'm going to do after i graduate but whatev. i still have a good 5 months before i need to really freak out about it. i should have actually graduated this semester but i wanted to take classes like photograpy and chinese and next semester i'm adding interior design to the mix (yessss) so i don't even feel bad.

anyway.

i forgot to say that last friday ryan and i went to see narnia 3.

it was AWESOME. i'm serious. i don't think it gets enough credit. i loved everything about it (i'm a sucker for mystical shows) and the symbolism just gets me so good everytime.

we can't stop talking about it,

you should go see it asap.

next thought.

today i worked for someone in the morning and saw a bunch of incoming missionaries. then when i came in tonight there were a ton on the floor i work on walking around getting a tour of where they are going to be for the next three months. ryan and i also looked through my mtc photos earlier today so i guess it has just been on my mind.

(note: i usually don't like to write much because lets be honest, i don't really read posts where people write tons but i feel like it so i won't feel bad if you have already stopped reading).

 but anyways, i've just been thinking about that whole time and how it felt and as i walked by all the missionaries today with the little orange dot (indicating it is their first day here) on their tag i couldn't help but relate to the somewhat awestruck look on their face.

this girl had no idea what the next year and a half held for her.

 i was just happy to be there. i had no idea how painful it would be to learn a language (especially a one without an alphabet) or be thrown in a completely different culture. no idea how timid and inferior i would feel. no idea how lonely it could become even though i was with a companion 24/7. no idea how much pain my body would be in from riding a bike all day and being mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhuasted. no idea how much it would hurt to see someone accept the gospel and then suddenly decide they wanted nothing to do with it. no idea how hard it would be to leave home but how much harder it would be to go back. at the same time this completely foreign place became my home. eventually i learned chinese and the gospel in a way i could teach others about it which gave me confidence in myself and the message i was sharing. eventually i really liked having a companion all the time and they became my family when i had no one else.  eventually my saddle sores went away (graphic? sorry) and i could go up a mountain without getting off my bike and walking or being winded. eventually i was still exhausted but i became mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually stronger. it still hurt for people to change their mind about the gospel but my perspective was a little different. i was so happy and so many impossibles became possible. i learned so much and have so many fond memories of my time there. it is a really beautiful process that hurt at the time but shaped me and helped me become what i wanted to be. that is the beauty of a mission and something that was hard for me to understand until i experienced it. 

so as i looked at these missionaries and felt their pain, i also felt so happy and excited for them for the journey they are about to embark on.